Personal Perspective: Kengi Carr’s Journey Home
Despite being homeless and having battled kidney cancer and sickle cell anemia, Kengi Carr, now 41, got the kind of reassurance one could scarcely expect when he was diagnosed with HIV in 2008.
“HIV would be a blessing,” Carr recalls being told at the clinic where he had been tested. Testing positive, they told him, meant eligibility for a whole range of social services. Finally, he was told, “My homelessness would be over. I would have access to medical care, and everything would be taken care of.”
“That couldn’t have been further from the truth,” he said.
At the appointment, Carr was told he would be found a place to recover his strength. Carr, instead, found himself in a cubicle in an abandoned warehouse battling a staph infection so severe he could barely walk.
What followed was a struggle back to health through the labyrinthine medical bureaucracy in Los Angeles. At one point, nine months passed before he could secure an appointment with a doctor.
The entire time, he struggled with what he feared he would become: “Another statistic on a CDC report,” he remembered. “I was going to be yet another black man who dies from AIDS – not because I wasn’t engaged in care. It’s because care wasn’t fully engaged in me, and it all goes back to me being homeless and being without. I was homeless, and homeless people don’t count, no matter what.”
Hopelessness followed Carr while he struggled to find housing. The barriers to getting a roof over his head came from unexpected places. In one instance, his doctor refused to sign a form that would secure him housing after months on the street. Depressed, Carr attempted suicide.
Eventually, he spoke to a representative at AIDS Project Los Angeles, an outreach organization in the city dedicated to advocacy and service, and they arranged for him to see another physician.
While Carr struggled to find medical care, he finally ended his 29 months of homelessness through assistance available to HIV-positive individuals on the street. With the help of Hollywood Community Housing’s Shelter Plus Care Program, offered through the Los Angeles Housing Authority, Carr finally made it to the top of the waiting list. The program secured for Carr the apartment he still calls home.
Through his experiences, he found sources of strength.
“I relied on me,” he said. “I relied on the very few friends I had. I always tried to believe in myself. I would get through it – it was going to be a whole lot of work.”
Today, that work continues as he maintains his health while giving back to people. Carr still has not begun therapy for his HIV, and he focuses more on reaching out to others, especially those worrying more about finding a place to live than tracking their viral loads.
His ultimate goal is “giving a face to people who are suffering in this country.”
A shameless lover of the Internet, Carr uses blogging and his talent for talking to connect with others as far away as Australia. On his blog, titled “Project KengiKat,” Carr writes about his daily experiences as a person living with HIV.
His use of the Web is not limited to blogging about what he has been up to lately, though. Carr started a social network, which began as a forum for raising awareness about homelessness and later blossomed into a site providing information and awareness about issues confronting those with HIV/AIDS. Today it also serves as a place where some of Carr’s favorites hang out.
Carr also maintains a YouTube channel to post videos that he hopes will inspire others. “Thank God for the Internet,” Carr said with a laugh. With his ability to find and connect with others, he can do more than simply worry about his health. “I can move forward,” he said.
Carr founded two outreach projects in Los Angeles, Do Something Saturday, which Carr began three years ago, and Unpluggin’ HIV, which is now a year old. Both are associated with The Leon and Mary Fields Organization.
Do Something Saturday provides services and support to low-income homeless people from every walk of life, while Unpluggin’ HIV targets low-income or homeless people with HIV or AIDS in Los Angeles’s Skid Row.
If someone who is HIV-positive and living on Skid Row needs hygiene products, Carr makes sure they have a tooth brush. If they need someone to talk to, they have his phone number.
To those who have lost hope in their lives, Carr dispenses the kind of advice that only someone who has lost hope before can offer.
“Remember a time when you felt you were worth it, and then try to get back to that place.” Regardless of one’s situation, Carr says, “Don’t lose faith in yourself. No matter what is in front of you.”
If you are interested in sharing your HIV/AIDS story, please email us at info@aidsbeacon.com. We would be happy to hear from HIV/AIDS patients, caregivers, and health care providers.
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Kengi Carr is a person I surely look up to and I am proud to know. This article is awesome! Keep smiling Bro!
Amazing person. You give so much and take very little. A smile that melts the heart. You are worthy and loved. Keep on keeping on.
Love ya much!
Kengi is an amazing person and an inspiration for his dedication to helping those less fortunate. We are honored to have him as one of our Ambassadors of Hope at Dab the AIDS Bear Project.
Keep up the great work.
big bear hug,
Dab
Keep up the good work, am honored to have you as a friend. Jataun
I know you don’t like praise and how you don’t want people to think that you are anything other then someone who simply cares, but for me and I know for so many others your are far more then someone who cares. Even when others try to attack you and your work, you just keep on giving. I have never met anyone who loves as hard as you do. I am so proud to call you my friend.
Very inspiring article Kengi, the writters did an excellent job. Like many others I too am blessed by you and thankful for all you do for humanity.
Thanks for sharing your story, Kenngi, and sharing yourself in such major ways!
Kengi is an amazing person and I’m blessed to have the privledge of knowing him personally. From following his life on his youtube channel to reading his story in this article gives me both hope and inspiration. Thank you Kengi for sharing your life and your experiences. My cup runeth over!
Kengi is an amazing person and i have only been watching him on youtube for a couple of months and he is very inspirational he makes you want to have meaning in life! You think you have it bad until you listen to him and hear the stories he shares. I look forward to his wisdom on the daily basis. Love that he does so much and asks so little. He puts others before himself.
Kengi is the most humble individual I know. He is caring and giving to all. I am so glad that I was lead to his youtube channel and also his organization thru his blog. He helps thos who have been forgotten but most definitely exist everyday and I admire that in him. Some have said he is limiting himself but I applaud him for helping those whom society has forgotten.
Thank you for recognizing the true hero in Kengi. This was a very touching article. Thank you for reporting on him and showing others how selfless he truly is. I wish we had more people like him. Bless you Kengi.
I have seen Kengi go through these struggles and yet he still continues to prevail. I appreciate this article on him, I Love You Kengi. lol Smiles
Kengi is a man with enough hope to go around the world. His YouTube vlogs are amazing and you can see how much work he puts in his projects. He is a great man that desirves a lot of reconition!!! Love you Kengi =D
Great article Stephen and Nora! I am so glad patient perspectives has made its way to the AIDS Beacon. Kengi thank you for sharing your story with others. You are an inspiration to many.
Kengi, you are the embodiment of resilience and determination. I wish I had 10% of the courage you do. Bless your huge heart!
That Kengi could turn his adversity into advocacy and outreach is an inspiration to all of us and a testament to his ongoing commitment to people who are homeless as well as people living with HIV/AIDS.
I am proud to know you.
I’m so proud of you!! Just how far you’ve come and to have crossed so many hurdles and hardships, thats really inspirational(: You’ve got a special gift with people and you’ve got the drive. You’re meant for a higher purpose, so keep at it..I believe in you (: X
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